Iron Pants!
(An Orphanage Press electronic journal of social and political satire, among other things.)
(Copyright 1999, Larry Leonard)

"The age demanded that we sing, and cut away our tongue.  The age demanded that we flow, and hammered in the bung.  The age demanded that we dance, and jammed us into iron pants.  And in the end the age was handed the sort of shit that it demanded."  Ernest Hemingway, Paris, 1925
 



Contents (links are underlined)
            Lead Editorials   OpEd Page Satire (mostly local)

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WHY THE FOUNDING FATHERS TALKED OF "GOD GIVEN" RIGHTS
(by Eric Blair, copyright August 27,1999)

In all the great religious works of the world, there are central references to the
eternal battle between good and evil. This is why secular humanists work to destroy
God.

Right and Wrong are clearly outlined in the great faiths, and are remarkably similar
as categorized in each. That the Moslem, the Christian and the Jew trace their origins
to the books of the Old Testament that are called the Torah by the Hebrews, is well
known. . To a Moslem, there were three perfect women in history. One was the woman
Christians call Mary, the mother of Jesus Christ.  This is just one example of mutuality.

Divide and conquer the races, the sexes the religions -- then offer to the people a
paternal solution to the chaos you have instigated and fed.

Without God, right and wrong are flexible concepts. The KOOKS are right about one
thing. There is a worldwide conspiracy to enslave humanity. It's just not the silly one
they have constructed -- the CFR, Henry Kissinger, etc., etc., etc., ad infinitum.

It is the collective of evil.

The automatic migration of men without God.
 

IT'S LIFE OR DEATH

(by Eric Blair, Copyright July 11, 1992)

   T-Cell research, the exploration of the uses of foetal cells in medicine, could end up giving me a normal physical body for the first time since I was eight. Current research in    this area has already reached the point where bladders that work fine have been grown on plastic forms. Done    properly, these incubated organs using genetic material from the recipient, when inserted into an experimental animal  like a mouse, simply go to work.

   There is no rejection.

   Fears that human clones would be created, then killed for their organs, are allayed by this discrete organ cloning
   process.

   Heart valves are the area that interests me. Every decade or so I have to have open heart surgery to replace my aortic
   valve. This process would give me a brand new one that would not ever have to be replaced, again.

   As I am pro-life, it puts me on a philosophical tightrope, in some respects. If it could be done with the T-cells of a
   naturally aborted pregnancy, it wouldn't bother me, of course. But, even if the abortion wasn't done to keep me alive,
   using T-cells from that foetus for my benefit seems, in my mind, to make me an accessory to murder.

   There will be tremendous pressure for development in this area for more than personal survival reasons. The Baby
   Boomers are approaching sixty. The ability to provide them with discrete organ replacements would dramatically
   reduce elderly medical costs. Savings in kidney dialysis treatment alone would probably save Medicare.

   I can easily forsee women turning themselves into foetus tissue factories for a profit. Hell lies at the end of that road.

                                                              -- 30 --
 
 

THE FUTURE DANCE

by Eric Blair (Copyright June 12, 1999)

Spirit Dance is a touring stage event, recently aired on public broadcasting, created by Indians and liberals, and its theme seeks to enlighten all about the contemporary ratrace of our U.S. culture.  Our treadmill of life.  The speaker wishes to gain the grace of grandfather by seeking the mountain top where the eagle lives.  This man is having trouble establishing where he is in his life.  He searches for himself in his people’s past.  Fire Dance, a segment of this production, symbolizes the transformation of ourselves into ancient beings. (Fire transforms wood into smoke.  It is not combustion.  It is magic.)

And on, and on , and on.  The perfect liberal platform, this abortion out of the Silly Sixties proposes to celebrate North American tribal mysticism. It is rife with angst over the befouling of Eden by evil (the culture of the white European male)  and calls to the heart of the red victim, pointing to the past.  Except for Kevin Kostner, nobody much over twenty, spiritually at least, could be involved with this musical merging of ancient tribal music and  electric guitar that backs the rhythmic undulations of pretty half-naked young women.

Liberals, like those who predominate in public broadcasting, feed on this crap for a very simple reason.  They are simpletons.  American Indians have been trapped in the past for two hundred years, banging on their drums and reading the rising smoke spirit images from their campfires. It is that childish culture which has blocked generations of American Indians from joining the Twentieth Century and participating in the great events of the world.  It has kept them as eternal children.  It has kept them dependant.  It has turned them into bitter, helpless drunks and welfare slaves.  And, now the white, liberal do-gooders are once more urging these people to maintain their separate, ancient identity.  Multi-culturalism, it’s called.

Well, liberals, children become the adults in their childhood stories.

My childhood stories were celebrations of the accomplishments of a white, European, Christian culture that has made more technological progress in two hundred years than the rest of humanity did in two hundred thousand.  It created the culture that didn’t need accidental biological warfare to drive the Indians into the ground.  My childhood heroes, celebrated in the books and films of my youth were Thomas Edison, Abe Lincoln, Davy Crockett, Moses, Jim Thorpe, Thomas Jefferson, the Wright Brothers, Lucky Lindy, Helen Keller and hundreds of everyday people who were faced with disaster and temptation and stuck their chins out and got to work to create a victory for everyone.  The theme was that the modern world is one based on science and technology, and that the individual achievement bell tolled for everyman.

What a silly bunch of driveling idiots many inhabitants of this country have become.  Thanks to forty years of academic and media post-modernism, people who used to go through great hardships to call themselves Americans now expect the world handed to them on a platter while they call themselves (select your ethnic preference)-Americans.

My message to all  minorities is to push the feeling-sticky liberals away and teach your children  that one learns lessons from the past (assuming it hasn’t been rewritten by politically correct liberal idiots), but the new legends, the new quests, the new adventures all exist in the future.  They will be achieved by those who invent and know how to use the tools of the future, not the tools of the past.

Thank God for the Indian gaming bonanza.  The casinos.  The Indians are making money from them, hand over fist.  They are buying other kinds of businesses, and buying land, and buying real estate and car dealerships and insurance companies and they are sending their kids to college to learn accounting and engineering and marketing and business and law.  And, they aren’t doing it on a government handout, folks.  They’re paying for their kid’s education, themselves.

It was the chief of the Oregon Umatilla tribe who recently said, “We were wrong to take money from the white man.  It stole our pride.”  Damn straight, chief!  That, is the honest-to-Coyote/Raven/Eagle/Buddha/Mohammed/Yaweh/Jehovia truth.

It was technology, particularly in war, that shaped this world.  From the first stone weapon used by the first ape man, to the war engineering of the Romans, to the English longbow, to the repeating rifle that won the American west, to the atom bomb that finished the Japanese empire, to the orbiting war telescopes that target smart bombs into enemy chimneys, the world is now as it always has been dominated by the latest technology.

Don’t give me a bunch of crap about smearing on face paint, sticking feathers in your hair and dancing around a wood fire.  The first enemy platoon with a jeep, a mortar and a fifty caliber machine gun out of WWII will clean out the Arapaho nation’s spirit dancers, warriors and medicine men in two weeks.

“Too many have forgotten the old ways.  Our songs are silent in the wind.  Our sticks are tied together in a dark bundle,” sings the Sprit Dancer.

Bullshit.  Spend ninety percent of your time learning how to win in today’s world, Indian.  Enjoy your ancient fairy tale as I enjoy the ancient fairy tales of my Irish and Viking ancestors.  But, then pick up the book on structural engineering and make a rectangular teepee that scrapes the sky father’s realm.

Eagles will come to nest there.  American eagles on American money that you have earned.  Pride will come to you as you see your children take their place as leaders in the greatest of all North American cultures, the modern one that will take us to the stars.

Today’s Native American carries a cell phone, creates software, knows the legal aspects of a merger and studies the spirit smoke from particle/anti-particle collisions in a bevatron. Today's Native American comes from ancestors in Europe, Africa, Asia and South America ... just as yours, Mr. American Indian, did.  They have created the most powerful tribe in the history of the world.

You say the Spirit Dance is about a merging of the old and the new?  Make the next Spirit Dance about the magic of electronics, anti-cancer drugs, pulsars and robotics.  The magic of science and technology!

The human myth is a guide to the principles of living, not the specifics of living.  If you try to actually build a fire on the moon and dance around it wearning nothing but feathers and a leather loincloth, you will run into difficulty.

Join the true quest, or remain part of a side show.

It’s up to you.

                                                            -- 30 --
 

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