If there is anyone who can make pointy ears and a severe haircut sexy, it's our Uncle Albert. But for going on four seasons, Albie's had tough competition from the lovely Jolene Blalock, who plays the Vulcan T'Pol on Star Trek: Enterprise. Next year, you'll be able to see the out-of-this-world beauty playing a human- a sexy human- in the movie Slow Burn, as the femme fatale caught between Ray Liotta and Mekhi Phifer. But right now, you can see her caught on film. ("That's photo speak for "We took pictures").
Stuff: Is this the season T'Pol finally gets a man?
Jolene: Yeah, I think so. And I think that man's going to be Connor Trinnear's character, Trip. The writers have turned me on to- oh for Christ's sake, what the fuck is it called?- Trillium D. T'Pol is addicted to Trillium D. Since my character is a drug addict, she's no longer in control of her emotions. So because of the Trillium D, she might begin a relationship.
Will this also be the year that your character gets it on regularly?
You mean pon far. That's where Spock would go into heat once every seven years on the original Star Trek- this manic, uncontrollable, burning passion of the loins. It's never been established for females, but in the third season, we established it for T'Pol.
In one episode, you appeared with half of your backside showing. But people claim your'e nude in the European version of the show. Does such a fabulously sexy episode really exist?
That is true. That was part of the massage scene, right before Trip and T'Pol do it. And I dropped my robe. The full shot aired on the East Coast, but when the network found out that crack was shown on Enterprise- this was after the whole Janet Jackson wardrobe malfunction- they freaked out. They cropped it for airing on the West Coast..
Are you comfortable with nude scenes?
Probably more than most actors. But I have the same reservations as the next guy. Or girl.
I have no reservations.
Really?
About you getting naked? None.
[laughs] Thank you.
There are rumors that William Shatner might guest-star on the show this season. Would you be cool with him coming aboard?
Bring him on. Bring all of 'em on, I don't care. Let's just meld all the shows together. This is our last year most likely. What the hell.
Who would win in a fight: Shatner or Enterprise captain Scott Bakula?
You know Scott would win. Kirk is old. C'mon [laughs]
What about a moon-pie eating contest?
Probably Kirk.
Speaking of Shatner, he attended the launch of a private rocket that could eventually take nonastronauts like you and me into space. Is that something you would ever be interested in?
Yeah, I'd go anywhere they'd take me. I firmly believe in what Stephen Hawking says- that if we don't get off the planet, we're going to go beserk. We have to have more space. And maybe that'll mean that we multiply and destroy another planet. But you know what? That's mankind. Get used to it. We're not going to change.
So you're a firm believer in procreation?
Absolutely. What's really unfortunate for people like me and my husband, who look at each other and are like, "Are we ready?" We live in a $3 million home. But are we ready? And then down the street you've got people pumping out babies, and they're like, "We get more food stamps 'cause we have more babies." It's just like, oh, how are tose kids going to have opportunities?
Life always finds a way.
Hey, mine found a way, thank God. Right? Because I was born in the food-stamp neighborhood.
You finally play a human in Slow Burn. Is this movie hot?
[laughs] Yes. There's a lot going on in this movie. It's a dark, artsy movie. Each character is kind of brutal in their own way. I'm up against Ray Liotta and Mekhi Phifer and bounced between them throughout the movie.
Would you describe your bedroom behaviour as Slow Burn or Backdraft?
[laughs] Slow Burn, for sure.
Have you tried a threesome in real life?
No. I'm not into threesomes. I think it's embarrassing enough just to have a dog in the corner watching [laughing]
Are there any women you are attracted to?
Uma Thurman. Uma Thruman is the most beautiful woman walking on the face of this earth. Besides Erykah Badu.
You've been on The Howard Stern Show. He seems to have a crush on you.
People at work tell me, "Howard said that he loved you today" or something like that. I don't get it. But I think he's adorable. I think he's amazing. I mean, it's hot, you know. It's hot that he thinks I'm hot.
You once told me that vibrators do nothing for you. Is that still the case?
Yeah. Maybe the one's that I've experienced are like, that one is too rough. They didn't do anything for me.
I read that you consider the best sex to be postfight sex- or as you put it, "the makeup fuck." Do you and your husband fight a lot?
No, we don't. I mean, when we do, it's always about misunderstood intentions. "But I meant....But I didn't mean to ..." That kind of stuff. But makeup sex is just as good even after a fight like that.
And that's what you describe as the best sex? Or have you found something even better.
The best sex is being with somebody that you know that you know that you know that you know loves you. You know?
And has marriage let you explore places where no man has gone before?
Yeah. Every crater, every- I don't know what else is on the planet. Everything's been searched out. It's definitely another level.
Sexually, what is the final frontier?
Kama Sutra. Tantric sex that lasts for five hours. That is something that I've explored.
I'm usually at warp speed.

The article is accompanied by a full page cover photo of Jolene in a red one-piece bathing suit with most of her breasts exposed; A two-page color photo of Jolene seated on some steps wearing a very low cut magenta dress; A third page color photo of Jolene seated on a gravel walk in a tropical setting, with legs spread and wearing a tan dress which covers the important parts; A full page color photo of Blonde Jolene wearing a widely open white swimsuit, shown from the waste up; A full page color photo of Jolene seated on a bed with her nighty up above her hips and lowcut at the top.